Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Just Wait and See

2009 is just around the corner. Literally, it's tomorrow. A friend of ours every December makes predictions about his friends for the upcoming year. So I decided to step back, think for a moment, and make some predictions about my crew for the '09 year.

Sister will do some incredibly dumb things. One might find this prediction slightly off key, but for her I think this is right on target. You see, Sister has spent her life doing fairly smart things. She was NEVER the girl at the party drunk beyond oblivion, awoken the next morning on the kitchen floor cluthing a bottle of pineapple rum gathering the memories from the night before through the pictures left on her digital camera. And she almost never lost her keys. Yes this is Sister's time to let loose and be dumb. She will spend her year saying the wrong things, having her blonde moments, and racking up numerous embarassing pictures. And you know what, thats OK. She deserves it!


Todd will continue to conjure up creative loopholes to marry Chelle. Clownsuit? Courthouse? You've come up with some good ones bro, you should give up now and surrender. And I'm pretty sure 09 is that year. Whatever that next step will be, its gonna happen. Chelle will resist the urge to "trade him in for a younger one" and continue to put up with his crap, because she's incredibly patient and, like his sisters, knows how to handle him the best. Take it from the lil sister Chelle, in reality he's really great.


Jessica will no longer need a life coach. It will come in an epiphany. Something will happen and she will begin her typical high-stress-freak-out mode. But this time instead of booking it to Moes for a session with her handy life coach, she will sit for a moment and the answer will come to her. For she will see that the best way to learn is to teach others. And she will be spending months teaching the kindergardners at Thunderbolt Elementary the basics of life and learning. And she thought her education stopped at UNF, silly girl :)


Caydie will probably win some sort of award for being Superwoman. She's 22, has a full-time job, an almost-5-year-old little girl, a loving husband, and a brand new house. Did I mention she got these things a little out of order and within the past few years? And she's still not stopping. In 09, she's going to try and make another baby. I'm crossing my fingers!!


Jymez will get accepted into Optometry school and move away from Florida. It could go one of two ways - Tennesee or Michigan. Tenessee Scenaraio: Jymez moves to TN, starts school, makes friends, drinks beer, football season starts. END of any standing friendships Jymez has at TN and BEGINNING of the biggest bar brawl TN has ever seen. Being the true Gator that he is, Jymez will beat down every redneck Volunteer that questions his Orange & Blue status (or at least attempt to in a drunken oblivous state) and he'll probably end up on TN's most wanted or something. Michigan Scenario: Jymez moves to MI, starts school, makes friends, drinks beer, football season starts. The difference with MI friends is that they, like the Gators, hate the Buckeyes. So together, Jymez and his fellow MI friends will bond over a common hatred and will live happily ever after. The end. Jymez, I think MI is your best option. I'm sure that somewhere in between all of this he will learn more about eyes, irises, glaucoma, and technical stuff. At the same time, he will continue to misspell simple words like "because","gawk", and "financial".

Shaun is going to shock The Entourage. What will it be? Who knows, but some decision or action or even something he said is going to knock us off our feet. You just wait and see.

Matt with the white hat will celebrate his second anniversary with his dog by making 2 more myspace albums dedicated to him. Congratulations Matt & Cash - maybe I'll send a gift. In all reallity Matt is incredibly business savvy and ever since I've met him he has thrown around ideas about how to make more money. 09 is his year. We might be in a recession - but you'll think of something Matt. My vote is for that pizza place you've mentioned once or twice. I'll come hang out on Wednesdays and drink some Blue Moons - on the house, of course, for their favorite patrons.

Happy New Year!
Tiney

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Please, pay attention in school...

It has recently come to my attention how important spelling skills are to the human race. Sure, everyone makes a typo now and then, flips the occasional letter or mixes up a word or two. However, sometimes these mistakes really define people.

I shake my head when driving down the road and the local farmers stand has "canaloupes" for sale. Silly rednecks, they can't pronounce their T's.

I laughed hysterically when I noticed that a friend posted her wedding photos. She had numerous pictures when her and her husband were exchanging their "vowels." What's a wedding without your A-E-I-O- & U's?

I see a bunch when I file papers at work. It's always nice when employees get "vary good" comments on their evals and such. There are "acceptions" of course, not every employee is a shinning star.

While standing in line at the UNF campus, I felt some serious irony when I noticed one spelling mistake. The administration wanted the students to be "courtouse" of others, and turn off their cell phones while standing in line. You'd expect more from a college environment...

My best guy friend Jymez is classic for making spelling mistakes. Let me remind you that he's a graduate from the University of Florida majoring in Biology and Chemistry and know all kinds of isotopes and molecules and things I'll never be able to wrap my brain around. I just want to point out that he still has the statement "...'gock' over this awesome body..." on his myspace. Way to go Jymez :)

The best by far happened to me today. While thumbing through the time off requests, one in particular caught my eye for some reason. A second glance proved me right. An associate needed a special schedule because, and I quote "I have two 'testes' on Monday." Who knew that in just two letters, you could change medical procedures into genitals....

Did I mention all of these mistakes were made by well-educated, grown adults?

Enjoying it everyday,
The Tiney Weenie

Sunday, December 14, 2008

Graduation

Well it finally happened, Sister finally graduated and what a (4 day) weekend it was. Well let's start from the beginning...


Friday morning....

The phone rings at 8:07 a.m. waking my somewhat-hungover self up. Seriously? My alarm isn't supposed to go off for another half hour or so. Behold it's my mother in somewhat freak-out mode asking my 20 questions...
"What time are you leaving?"
"Are we picking you up?"
"Who's getting Todd?"
"Who has the tickets?"
"Why haven't you figured out the plans yet?"

I don't know the answers to those questions...but I do know I get to sleep for 30 more minutes and THEN deal with it.

Later that morning I have a short text convo with Dad.
"Are we picking you up?"
-"Nope"
"K."

If only both parents were so simple.

So I crawl out of bed. Toast a bagel. Jump on Michelle in her bed. And the morning gets started.
Rush out the door, swing by and pick up Todd, and zip off to UNF.

Despite the fact that Sister forgot her tassel at home, my bad driving almost killed us, and we were running late, she walked with her fellow graduates on time and with a tassel.


Friday Afternoon....

After we had lunch with the family I fought weekend traffic back to Orange Park to what I thought was a simple podiatrist appointment. I was horribly mistaken.

"I'm not sure what exactly you did to your foot. We are going to need to take some x-rays to find out more. Until then we are going to put this really inconvenient boot on your foot for a whole week. It's ugly, uncomfortable, and you're going to hate it however I feel it's necessary to prevent further injury."

...Ok so that probably wasn't a direct quote, but thats definitely how I perceived it. No joke this is the SECOND time my podiatrist has ruined a good "cute shoe night." Instead of my black leather knee-high boots, I had to settle for ONE left black flip-flop and a post-operative boot. Thanks.



Friday Night....

Boot or not the celebratory part of the evening went fairly well. Sister chose to go to Harmonious Monks to kick off the festivities. There was lots of beer, music, and dancing on the chairs. Don't worry, it's totally allowed.





Afterwards we were persuaded into going to a little post-party back in the Island. The plans kinda fell through, so we decided to go home.

"Um Sister, we can't leave yet."
-"Why?"
"I don't have any keys..."

True story. I have a bad habit of losing my keys, and it chose tonight to haunt me. Regardless, it was about 3:30am before we got back home.


The rest of the weekend went a bit more smoothly. Yesterday we had some family come up from Tampa and we had a big dinner, watched some hockey, groaned over the heisman ceremony, and had a really nice bonfire. Oh, I can't forget the homemade limoncello - good stuff :). Oh, and I found out this morning that my keys were under a pair of shoes at our friends place. Random, but not shocking for me at all.

Hanging out in my post-operative boot,
The Tiney Weenie