The Verdict

Instead of driving 30 minutes - I drive 5
Instead of crowded - I have spacious
Instead of old and dirty - I have new and pretty
Instead of the smell of melons - I have the smell of flowers
Instead of treading down aisle 13 - I tread up and down stairs
Instead of pristine and organized - I have sloppy and disarray
Instead of 180 familiar faces - I have 130 strange ones

I love it : )

Jumping in,
The Tiney Weenie

that's just not "fair"

I'm fully aware I am fair skinned. I have red hair, blue eyes, freckles, and light skin. I got it - I'm a ginger. You can always tell when I'm blushing, my skin turns pink when I get hot, and I'll never be bronze - SPF 30 rules my world. The subject typically gets thrown into the spotlight during particular events, makeup shopping being one of them.

Oh the joys.

So I was in Ulta Beauty today picking up a few Bare Minerals products that I was running low on. Ulta, like many other high-end cosmetic stores, has sales clerks at each counter to assist you in getting the colors and products you need. Here we go...

-"Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I need some more concealer. I think it's called bisque or something."
-"Honey bisque, summer bisque, dark bisque, or just the bisque?"
"Um, the light one?"
-"Really? Are you sure?"
At this point, I'm wondering if this girl is retarded. Clearly she can see my skintone. Clearly she is not blind. "Honey" and "dark" just aren't a good match.
"Really. Oh and I also need some more foundation, in the Fair shade."
-"Fair? Wow, you really are pale."

Thanks for pointing out the obvious, Miss Olive-Complexion-Clerk with your dark brunette hair. In case you didn't notice, I'm a red. And the term is not "pale" its "fair. At least my skin isn't compared to a smelly fruit used to make oil and garnish martinis.

Sticking up for gingers, and other "fairs", everywhere,
Tiney

It's About Time

click. send. score.

It is a rare opportunity that one would get the chance to send their own permanent transfer information via email, and let me tell you I thoroughly enjoyed it. As of Saturday, September 27th I will be the Administrative Coordinator at 128 - in Publix talk that means I'll be working at the Oakleaf store right by my house.

I'm tickled, I really am. I get to meet a slew of new associates, a new range of customers, and I get to reunite with some old friends.

But there are some things I'm definitely going to miss about 502. I'll miss Manny's daily greetings, Steve's intellectual conversations, and Mrs. Jenny's hugs - oh and her strawberry bread. I'll miss the smells. Which sounds weird but my office always smelled like melons in the morning and I kinda liked that. I'll miss opening the store with Alex on Saturday mornings, eating breakfast treats and delaying my payroll as much as possible so I could hangout in the office with him. These people are like my second family - all 180 of them, and I know so much about them. Birthdays, children, granchildren, vacation spots, spouses, the works. I've been there through pregnancies, graduations, weddings, & promotions and I've watched dozens of the "little ones" turn the big 1-8, some of which I even hired.

I'm sure my new store will have similar experiences, I just have to give it a chance. It's time to get personal 128!

Looking forward,
The Tiney Weenie

I'm Sorry But...

Today my ethics were questioned, my self-esteem was slightly bruised, and my sanity was pushed within inches of its limits.

Fists were up, I was ready to fight.

Corner number 1 - The almighty Tiney, sticking up for all that is right and good in this world, and Publix of course.

Corner number 2 - crazy, insane department manager. With some ally help from the asst. department manager.

Match 1: Loss Prevention. So the Loss Prevention specialist from Corporate came into today to inspect our store to make sure everything was running smoothly. No biggie, as long as the drawers are locked, money is secure, etc. Being the A/C, she asked me for a few favors, one of them being to circle any inactive associates off a list of names. Sure, no big deal. So I circled any transferred/resigned associates off the order gun and cashier number list. In walks crazy, insane department manager, inquiring about my encounter with the Loss Prevention lady.

"Oh, she just wanted me to circle the inactive associates off some lists."
-"The cashier list?"
"...Ya"
-"Who did you find, how many?"
"Well, I mean about 7 or so associates like ...(listing associates),"
-"I really wish you had not done that. I told her those lists were fine"
"Those associates haven't worked here in months and she asked me to do it. What was I supposed to do, tell her no -or lie?"
...getting huffy at this point...-"Whatever it's fine now I guess."

Place B-word adjective here.

Main Event: The Cabinet Crusade. It has been recently brought to my attention that my uniform cabinet blocks the mini door window in my office, thus blocking the view of my desk from the outside. My b, didn't think about that when feng shui-ing my office. So I started keeping the door open when I was working at my desk. Simple solution, no shopping, $$, or moving involved. Not good enough apparantly - it still has to go. Talked to the store manager, he says the cabinet can stay it's no big deal. Second simple solution? Not so much. This is where the crazed tantrum takes place full of slammed keyboards, awkward bystanders, and a lot of yelling. No exaggerations, she must have learned it from her grandkids. Place C-word adjective here, we've graduated the vulgar language to the next level. 15 minutes go by and I'm staring at the ceiling, maintaining my cool and pseudo listening as I've heard most of it before. Seriously, where do you get your info from, Staff Gossip Weekly? Thankfully the store manager comes in at the perfect time and, in so many words, says Tiney's doing fine, you're being crazy, let's all be friends.

And Tiney is the winner! With ally support from her store manager, of course.

A few awkward hours go by as I still have more of my shift left, and quite a few apologies fly my way for the "blow up" that occured earlier.

Fine, I'll take your fake apology with a fake acceptence. We can pretend that everything is better now and it's all smiles, cupcakes, and sunshine.

I'm sorry but, in reality you're psychotic.

Continuing to try,
Tiney

P.S. I was so consumed with the mess earlier I didn't get to enjoy the upside of my day. The kids from the YMCA wrote me thank you cards for the tour I gave them about a month ago. Needless to say they are now hanging in my office, at least to remind me that some people still appreciate me : ) I'm sorry to those who said it was a waste of payroll - transfer the time accordingly.

Will There Ever Be A Day...

My sister and I have worked for the same company since - well basically since we've held jobs. Oh, the lovely years spent at Publix. We've worked in various stores, worked for hundreds of different managers, watched about a dozen of our friends move up the line, and dealt with thousands of off-the-wall employees. Not to mention the millions of daily customers we greet. By now, the two of us have moved up and out and no longer work in the same stores. I'm the Administrative Coordinator in Fleming Island, doing personnel stuff and payroll and dealing with an absolutely psychotic department manager. And she is Customer Service in Middleburg, running the front end and helping customers and dealing with a retarded assistant department manager. Every night the same thing happens. Sister works late, getting home around 11, while I work the mornings, so I'm already home. She'll start making her late night dinner, and we chat. Oh, our Publix chatter. They say it's not healthy to take your work home with you - clearly that doesn't apply to us. Our conversations typically go something like this...

T-"My manager was absolutely ridiculous today. She told me to get rid of the cabinet in my office because she couldn't SEE me at my desk through the door window when she walked by. This is, of course, after she went through my mailbox, took out the memos from the store manager and responded to them before I even read them. Psycho much?"

M-"That's ok. My manager is leaving us post-it notes on the Lotto machine reminding us to balance it 5 times a day. And taping e-mails on the back office door. And she sent all my cashiers and baggers home early leaving me short handed the rest of the night. Oh, and she's writing 'nasty grams' about all the wrong stuff we are doing and putting them in our personnel files."

T-"Dude- I bet your A/C is throwing them away, that's ridiculous! The CSTL at my store is simply retarded. She tried to type a memo to the cashiers warning them about coupon fraud. Now Sister, spell exceptions for me."

M-"E-x-c-e-p-t-i-o-n-s."

T-"Yeah, try 'No a-c-c-e-p-t-i-o-n-s.' Idiot."

M-"Nice. Yeah, at my store, the assistant wants to be sure that 'acuracy' is maintained at all times in the Lotto til. Nice one."

T-"Hey Sister, do you think there will ever be a day when we come home and don't have stories to tell?"

M-"Not as long as we're at Publix."

Trying to keep things "a pleasure,"
Tiney Weenie

Work

6:45 am - Alarm goes off - Tiney is up.

• Off to Publix I go. 8:30am - I'm there
• About 1/4 of the store didn't punch in - Wasn't time clock punching 101 part of your curriculum?
• File evaluations.
• Run a register.
• "What do you mean you didn't get the transfer request? I emailed it to you twice! No, I will not send it again, check your friggin' inbox."
• File some more.
• Open a register again.
• "Sure I'll be glad to send you her information now. I'm glad you and your store manager found the transfer request last week, approved it, and never called. Thanks for all you do!" Genius.
  

zip home. quick bite. change clothes. Round 2.

• Off to Express. 5:00pm - I'm there.
• "Can I help you find anything?" NO. "Do you need help finding your size?" NO.
• Fine, didn't really want to help you anyways.
• These are too long "Here, try some in short." These are too short ... Well get yourself a new pair of legs darling!
• Some marketing bimbo at corporate emails up and says signs need to changed by opening tomorrow.
• Not bad - except that 33 men's 1MX dress shirts need to be folded.
  
• About 5 min. to refold a shirt correctly x 33 shirts - you do the math.
• 12:04am - finally punch out.
• Too late, still locked in the mall. SECURITY!
  

1:39am - still going, but fading fast.

Clearly I'm out of my mind to have two jobs and be a student.
Just another day, full of aching feet and throbbing back pain.

Doing it again tomorrow,
Tiney